


Not anymore

by NoMore_17



Series: WangXian's Fics [3]
Category: Souls Know, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Looking for the lost piece of your soul, Love always finds a way, M/M, Memories of Past Life, Recovered Memories, SoulsKnow, Supportive brother Lan XiChen, WangXian meet Souls Know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMore_17/pseuds/NoMore_17
Summary: He knew it would happen sooner or later. He always knew it.He knew that, sooner or later, this incessant, meaningless running would have led him to something dreadful.WanJi doesn't answer.He does not answer his calls.It had never happened before.Never.Actually, nothing that had happened in the past thirty hours had ever happened before.
Relationships: Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén & Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Series: WangXian's Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652506
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	Not anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Well... here I am again.  
> Seems like I cannot let go of this story. So, after "Home" and after "Find him", there is the Lan XiChen's POV.  
> Maybe you should read the previous two first, as they are different sides of the same story...
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this little thing, as much I enjoyed to write it.  
> As usual, feel free to leave any comment, suggestion, even criticism. I need to learn, and I know everyone can teach me something.
> 
> You can find me on Twitter as well.

**_8.45 AM Dìdi:_ ** _Bike parked at B4 Locker 1907 Code 3617_

_Luv u_

**8.47 AM Brother:** Ok. :)

Take care. Luv u 2. <3

**_10.25 AM Dìdi:_ ** _Forget it all._

_Can you get me a helmet?_

_Better if black._

**10.26 AM Brother:** What's up? :o

 **10.27 AM Brother:** ... :/

 **10.30 AM Brother:** Hey

 **10.33 AM Brother:** U ok?

 **10.38 AM Brother:** WangJi!!!!

He knew it would happen sooner or later. He always knew it.

He knew that, sooner or later, this incessant, meaningless running would have led him to something dreadful.

His younger brother, his dìdi...

What's happened to him?

A helmet? Why another helmet? Has he had an accident?

He doesn't know what to think. His head is going to explode.

Angrily he throws the phone across the room. _Damn useless thing!_

WanJi doesn't answer.

He does not answer _his_ calls.

It had never happened before.

Never.

Actually, nothing that had happened in the past thirty hours had ever happened before.

***

**_30 hours before_**.

XiChen remained at the _After-party_ alone: his brother, the _guest of honour_ , suddenly jumped on his motorbike walking away from everything and everyone, leaving him with only a vague address and a few hours to arrange something. Just a few hours to try to make sense of this new destination where he suddenly launched himself, and to inform the Board of the new plans as if they're not unexpected at all.

He tried to stop him. They are at the _Fashion Week_ , after all, and WangJi is one of the most loved testimonials. He tried, but his brother's eyes instantly told him not to even dare. From the start XiChen knew that it would be useless, his brother was more determined than ever.

Something _intense_ was calling him. Another _clue,_ as he calls 'em all.

By now he knows how it works: WangJi has a vision, a feeling, an idea, gives up everything, and leaves.

Who knows how they managed to find an invitation to a cultural centre, no: a _Literary Café, s_ o they call themselves. Actually, Baoshan Sanren, the group's chief editor, remembered it. And she offered to help him fix everything so they can both get there as soon as possible.

To her, and her only, XiChen had once confided his little brother's obsession, and she, oddly enough, didn't even flinch. As if she shared WangJi's thoughts, or at least fully understood 'em.

She's the only one he can rely on.

Together, they sent a detailed program straight to his hotel. He'll find it when he gets there. Maybe tomorrow late in the morning.

He manages to reach the end of his evening, well... not _his_ actually, trying not to think about what can happen to a motorcycle running at full speed on urban routes.

His brother is a racer, a good one, but this is not a track. This is road and highway. It's real life.

XiChen shakes his head. Eight hundred miles by motorbike. WangJi will drive all night...

**_13 hours before_**.

XiChen arrived at the hotel late in the afternoon, but still in time to catch a taxi and reach him at the end of his meeting at the _Literary Café_ while Sanren get some deserved rest and the staff took care of baggage and equipments.

However, he was not prepared for the devastated boy he found.

He curses himself for not being there. For not being with him when he apparently needed the most.

The rigid composure distinctive of his younger brother is still there, but he knows how to look under the surface. And he knows he's upset. More than ever.

The motorbike is parked in the hotel garage. A car came to pick him up less than two hours ago, and now it takes them both back.

Thankfully.

He doesn't even want to think of his little brother driving that trap in such a state.

The way back to the hotel is uncomfortably silent. XiChen lets him collect his thoughts; he knows WangJi will talk to him when he's ready. No need to worry.

Maybe.

The countless compliments and thanks from the organizers at the _Literary Café_ say, at least, that the meeting went well.

Silence's still there when the two of them go up to the floor of their suite.

WangJi is already with his hand on the doorknob, when XiChen gently takes his arm. -WangJi...-

He is anxious, he cannot hide it. A worried frown replaces his usual smiling.

The young man lowers his head, but does not turn around. -Not now.- He opens the door and disappears into his rooms.

XiChen sighs.

He's his brother, his manager, his best friend, but apparently he is not allowed to comfort him either. He's not even allowed to know what's tormenting him, let alone helping him.

He's always supported him, always indulged him, so much so that sometimes he wonders whether it is right or not, if it wouldn't be best to take him away from this nonsense that is eating him. Take him away from all this running, this search, this unsuccessful hunt.

Always on a rush...

Chasing... what?

The _missing piece_ , so he calls it. The missing piece of his life, of his heart. Of his _soul_.

As if he's looking for his soulmate from whom he was torn away.

Yes, _torn away_. Because WangJi doesn't act like someone seeking something he hasn't found yet, he doesn't act like someone looking for somebody he's never met before. He acts like someone who knows _exactly_ what he is looking for. Something that he had and that was taken from him.

 _Someone_.

Someone he already knows.

Somehow.

Disheartened, XiChen decides to go get something for dinner.

**_11 hours before._ **

He found WangJi into the bathtub. If his brother is trying to find comfort in the water, then the matter is serious. That's really bad.

Water is his element. He relies on water when he is alone, shot down, sad, injured. Or scared, like now.

Of all the emotions that only XiChen can catch a piece of, this is what he sees: WangJi is scared. He seems to have gone back in time to that night when Uncle QiRen came to tell them about their mother. That night, a long time ago...

His younger brother raises his face, looks at him. Water droplets run across his face. Or are they tears? XiChen can't say. _Dìdi_...

He pulled him out of the bathtub and dried him. He rubs his hair with a towel as when he was a child.

-There is a music...- WangJi, dejected, looks at him. -In my head...-

XiChen's hands stop and he looks down at his face.

He continues: -You think I am going crazy?-

His heart squeezes seeing him like this. He just wants his little brother, his dìdi, to be fine, to be happy.

-There are many things in this world that cannot be explained...-

-And apparently they can't even be controlled.-

-What is that you can't control?-

He gets up. -There is that music...- Hardly he puts on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. -In my head.-

-Yes, you already said that.-

-Tonight...-

-What?-

-There was a zither at that Literary Café.-

-A zither? Who plays a zither it nowadays?-

-It was a g _uqin_...-

_A guqin in this side of the world?_

-I barely touched it...-

XiChen patiently waits for the young man to gather his thoughts.

-The strings have vibrated. By themselves.-

-Meaning it was enough just to touch 'em? -

-No.-

His eyes are steady in his brother's. -That music...-

XiChen begins to get an idea of what may have happened.

-It played itself.-

Or what WangJi _assumes_ happened.

-You do not believe me, do you?-

-I trust you.-

Not another word.

XiChen helps him to bed. Just like _that_ night, he pulls the covers up, and reluctantly leaves his room.

**_3 hours before._ **

He slept on the sofa. Maybe to stay closer to him somehow. Feeling powerless against this battle his young and stubborn brother is fighting alone.

And thank goodness he was there. Or he wouldn't have met him when he showed up at dawn with his helmet under his arm, determined to run into the unknown at least one last time.

XiChen knows that the guy hasn't slept, he himself didn't sleep a wink last night, and has heard him move, at times restless, at times resigned.

WangJi has a backpack on his shoulders, and looks at him a little shy. -I left basically everything.-

-I'll handle that. You are fine?-

Pause. -No.-

-WangJi... Do you want to talk about it?-

He turns around. -I have to go.-

-Where? I'll take you there. Where are you going? -

-Airport.-

Instinctively XiChen looks at the watch, it is only 7.50 AM, their flight is scheduled for 9.00 PM.

When he looks up, his brother is gone.

***

_Code 3617._

WangJi always uses the same numbers as combination to the lockers. 3617, a prime number, but perhaps there's more than that. 1907. There is something important in these numbers, something XiChen doesn't catch.

Suddenly that thought again. He'd like to do more, he'd like to _be_ more.

His brother is all he has. He has to protect him. He has to take care of him.

 _Take care._ He answers the text.

XiChen sighs disconsolate. He might as well start preparing the return trip. This time they're going back home.

_Home._

Unless last-minute upheavals. Unless some changes he doesn't know if he wants to endorse anymore.

He has canceled almost all the events for the next six weeks and the new film won't start shooting until next summer. Perhaps he will be able to convince WangJi to take a rest. Maybe his obsession will give him a break.

At least that.

Mid-morning. Almost everything is ready.

The phone vibrates.

_Forget it all._

What does it mean?

XiChen calls him, he doesn't answer. He calls him again. The call goes straight to the voicemail. He knows it's useless to leave a message there. WangJi never listens to them. Usually is him the one who accesses his voicemail.

His heart is racing fast; he calls the reception. He needs a helmet.

_Why black?_

And he needs a car to go to the airport.

Down in the hall he runs into Sanren, almost as if she was waiting for him, _how strange..._

He briefly informs her that he is going to WangJi and he needs a helmet.

She doesn't ask questions. She always appears quite at ease amid the oddities of his little brother. But this time her face lights up. -Wait here.-

She flies up the stairs and return shortly with a black felt bag. There is a brand new helmet inside.

Full-face. And black. With two red bands that run on the sides.

XiChen doesn't hide his relief, but perhaps his amazement is evident because she hurries to explain: -I had it in store for his birthday.-

_Which was more than a month ago..._

He takes it anyway, grateful that at least one problem is solved, not wanting to investigate further. Not now at least. These are just... _Coincidences?_

_Yeah, coincidences..._

With a wave of his hand he greets a Sanren more smiling than one might expect, given the circumstances, and runs outside, where the car is waiting for him.

He takes the keys from the valet, get in the car and leaves.

A thousand thoughts crowd his mind, images that overlap without him being able to control them. And the concern for his young brother runs chills down his spine.

He arrives at the airport, takes the reserved lane to the drop off and suddenly comes to a screeching halt.

In front of him, four policemen are escorting two people out. They look at him, who risked to kill at least three people and to injure a dozen.

Luckily there aren't many people around. Maybe it's because all those cancelled flights...

XiChen recognizes his clothes before his face. With his hands still clenched on the wheel, he takes a moment to watch closely the black shadow holding his brother's hand.

_Holding hands...?_

There is something familiar about him, or maybe it's just the reflection of his dìdi in his eyes.

Who _the hell_ is this? And why are they escorted by cops?

What did WangJi get into? It's not like him to cause this kind of mess.

XiChen leaves the car in the parking lane, and approaches. Looks at his face and...

He finds hard to breathe.

His brother, perhaps for the first time since he can remember, smiles.

He smiles openly at the black shape next to him, who openly smiles back.

_His brother._

_Smiles._

A wide, open, sincere smile. Shining eyes reflecting the guy next to him.

The latter seems more accustomed to smiling, actually. It resembles the young artist who has recently been the victim of a dreadful case of cyber-bullying, escalated eventually in a real manhunt.

His eyes linger on their hands, fingers _intertwined_.

He's speechless.

His brother usually avoids any form of physical contact.

_Usually..._

The cops greet them and let 'em go. And XiChen is increasingly confused.

Finally he arrives in front of them. WangJi waves his free hand towards him. -XiChen!-

The guy on his left smiles polite, but the question mark on XiChen's face is as big as the _Mountain_. He can't bring himself to speak. He doesn't even say _hello_. He just waits.

-Brother...- WangJi begins to talk, embarrassed; then, without warning, hugs him.

Or at least that would have been the intention.

Actually, he puts his right arm around his brother's shoulders and squeezes. Awkward, clumsy, he's not accustomed to show physical affection. All this being even harder because he does not let go of the guy's hand, who is forced to approach them too.

-Thank you.- His voice is little more than a whisper but full of emotion. XiChen has never felt him like that.

His eyes fill with tears. His dìdi is ok. More than ok. He seems to be... _happy_.

He gives 'em the bag with the helmet and WangJi opens it; turns to the guy next to him: -It's perfect.-

He smiles.

_Again._

Then to XiChen: -Where did you find it?-

-Sanren gave it to me. She says it's your birthday present.

_A little bit late..._

The guy takes the shiny helmet amazed, lingers on the red bands on its sides. It seems made for him actually, perfectly in line with his black leather coat and that red ribbon hanging from his hair...

Looks up to XiChen. -Sanren? Baoshan Sanren? -He asks astounded.

-Do you know her?-

-She is ...- He thinks about it a little. -She's my...- He shakes his head. -Forget it.- He points to the helmet. -It's beautiful, thank you.-

He smiles. WangJi smiles too.

XiChen doesn't need to know anything more. The smile on his brother's face is the only thing that matters.

-Brother, we go home.-

There is something definitive in his way of saying it. XiChen turns to the guy. -Where is your home?-

He raises their entwined hands and brings them to his lips. -Right here.-

_Oh._

Everything is clear to him.

Maybe.

-Are you going by motorbike?-

-Yes.- WangJi gives the boy a soft look.

-It's a long run.- Says XiChen.

-We have plenty of time.- WangJi mirrors the guy's gesture, and kisses his fingers interlaced with his own.

-I'm not in a hurry.-

He looks firmly at his brother.

-Not anymore.-

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading...  
> I guess i don't have to say you what that music was, right? ;)  
> Oh, and please keep in mind that english is not my first language...


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